Denial
by MaK 16
Summary: Takes place during "Let it Bleed" They never got to what Peter was thinking until later in the episode so I thought Id add it in for them. Spoiler Alert! Peter's brother is dead and Peter doesn't want to accept that he's gone. Peter&Claire Not Slash!


**Disclaimer:** I don't even know who owns Heroes. So no, it's not me.

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! This was just a little idea I had while watching "Let it Bleed" for my other Heroes fanfiction, which i think will be called A Carnie's Problems. For more information on my other Heroes fanfiction, check out my profile. you'll find it in no time. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this one! :)

Denial

Peter bent over the rooftop, listening to the police scanner. His palms pressed against his eyes. He hated being useless. Just shaking people's hands, accepting their condolences when they really didn't care about him. They were there for Nathan, not his family. Even Claire was downstairs for Nathan.

Only now did he understand why some people couldn't move on. He had been a hospice nurse, he'd dealt with the grief of losing his father, but Nathan's death was different. Worse. With his father's death, he could just let it go. He could accept it. His father was older. And, though it was terrible to admit, Peter never really got along well with his dad. That was to be expected, since Arthur had never been around. Nathan was always there for him, though. Nathan was the one that let him beat him at a race. But only by a little. Nathan did have his pride.

He hated thinking about Nathan now. It was like he was trying to fill the void with memories. IT was an insult to Nathan's memory. Then, thankfully, the police scanner went off and told him that there was a shooting down at a business building, not very far from where he was. Finally, something to take his mind off of his dead brother.

So when Claire was lecturing him about grieving, all Peter could think was how he didn't want to think about Nathan.

"You've got to stop."

"No. "

"You have to."

"I can't." He told her bluntly. It was the truth. He couldn't stop. Claire didn't have to know why.

Thankfully, Claire took his hand, and Peter copied her power, healing the bullet wound. Peter sighed with content. Much better.

"I'm not always going to be your personal safety net."

He began to unbuckle himself and sat up. He pulled of the bandage and looked at Claire. "Then I guess this is a good ability to hang on to."

"And even if you do, then what?" Claire asked. "Huh? What kind of life is this? Human pin cushion."

Why couldn't she just leave it alone? Why couldn't she just let him go and not keep reminding him of the real reason he'd gone down there to stop that man? He decided to tell her, if no other reason than to make her stop talking about it. "If I keep moving, if I just act on instinct, then I don't have time to think." He was about to leave, but Claire didn't leave it at that.

"About Nathan?" He nodded. She continued. "Nathan would be so pissed at you right now. Lying to yourself, lying to us. You're not honoring his memory; you're avoiding it." He looked away. She was right. But he couldn't admit it. 'Cause then it would be real, and he'd have to face the truth.

Finally, he allowed his eyes to turn back to Claire, feeling tears burn in his eyes and his throat constricting. "If I think about it, then it's real. If I mourn, it's real." He hung his head. It was real. He knew he had to accept it. All of the evidence was right there in front of him. But he couldn't. He looked back up at Claire. "I miss him." He nodded, almost panicky, and felt the tears building.

"I know, me too." She said. She was trying to be comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. Then she pulled him into a hug. He, mechanically, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. The tears dripped down his face. Nathan was gone. It was time he accepted it. But how could he? What if all of this wasn't real? What if Nathan was still out there somewhere? What if when Nathan came back and found everyone thinking he was dead, Nathan would be pissed? And Nathan would go to his brother, thinking that at least Peter wouldn't believe it. But no. Nathan wouldn't come back. And Peter knew it. He knew that he should have been mourning months ago. But because of his mother, he'd just found out that Nathan was dead and had been for five months.

Peter and Claire came back to the funeral and went upstairs to the rooftop. They sat down and Peter watched the splendor of New York City.

"I like it better up here than down there." Claire said and smiled at him.

Peter nodded. "I have a love/hate relationship with rooftops." The ghost of a smile touched his lips, rewarded with a half-smile from Claire. "You gonna go back tonight?" He asked, talking about her college.

"Yeah, I have school tomorrow. Unless you want me to stay, which I can."

And, instead of admitting he wanted her to stay, he said, "Yeah I'm cool."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." He was lying, of course. He wasn't fine. His brother was dead. Gone. Wiped from the face of the Earth and should've been long ago.

"'Cause I have to trust you." She said, searching him with her eyes, hoping he wasn't thinking of doing something stupid. "Can't have you lying to me, not you."

He couldn't lie to Claire, he realized. It wasn't even possible. When he said "I'm fine," he really meant, "I will be fine." "I'm always honest with you." He reassured her. "I promise."

She smiled her half-smile and nodded. Peter kept looking at her. She was so much younger than he was and was grieving just as much as he was, and yet here she was, helping him cope. When really, it should've been the other way around. Claire was right; Nathan would be so pissed with him right then.

Then he thought of something. "Um, strange request. Your boyfriend…"

"West." Claire provided the name.

"Could you…call him? For me."

"Yeah, why?"

He smiled. "I want to see the world the way he saw it."

After West had come and gone, leaving Peter alone on the rooftop, he took out an old picture of him and Nathan, on Nathan's wedding day, when of all people Nathan picked his brother to be the Best Man. His thumb brushed over Nathan's tall figure in the photo. He folded it up and put it in his pocket. Then, Peter took off into the sky, to fly like his brother, Nathan, who would never fly again.

"_Good bye Nathan."_ He thought. _"I'll miss you."_

**Author's Note:** And we finally get some closure. in the show, we never really got closure from Peter until "The Wall", and that one doesn't really count 'cause he just forgives Sylar.

Anyway, please review!_  
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